Redefining What Success Means to You
A lot of people believe success is tied to making a lot of money, fame and living a luxury lifestyle and the matrix will brainwash you to believe that definition of success is what will make you happy.
I think we can all agree society, the media, etc define success as:
Making $100k+ per year and having an overflow of financial abundance
Getting a promotion
Starting your own business and having so many clients you need to hire a team of employees to scale
Winning awards
Being published in well known publications
Buying property, even owning multiple homes
Investing money in stocks, hitting it big in crypto, having a 401k and a stacked retirement account
Making so much passive income online that you can retire by 35 and live on a tropical island
Having a big, glamorous wedding with 300 guests
Being proposed with a huge diamond engagement ring
Owning a BMW or your dream car
Having a million followers on social media
And I could go on but you get the picture.
A lot of my own inner work has been detangling my self worth from achievements.
Growing up I based my entire self worth around how well I did in school, that I had a 90% or higher average, was the top in my class, received lots of praise from teachers, won awards, did a bunch of extra curricular activities, got a scholarship into university, secured internships and was setting myself up to have success once I entered the workforce.
I put so much pressure on myself when I was younger.
For example I can remember being in grade 8 and staying up super late perfecting a painting for art class because I was an insane perfectionist and wanted the best grade possible. I remember my mom coming into the room trying to convince me it looked great and to go to bed because I had to get up for school the next day.
Like what 13 year old does that and needs their parent to tell them to work LESS hard in school??
Being a perfectionist, overworking and needing to constantly achieve was a consistent pattern throughout my life.
When I was in my first year of university I received a scholarship and if I kept my grades up high enough I would get to renew it each year. Financially this would help me a lot so I worked incredibly hard in attempt to keep it. Doing everything possible to keep my grades up pretty much destroyed my mental health. I was 18/19 during this time.
I had anxiety so bad it landed me in the hospital a couple times because I was having a panic attack that felt like a heart attack.
It’s crazy to think back on this time because my mindset has completely flipped and how I live my life is very different now as well as how I define success.
Now I consider myself successful based on how I feel in my daily life and I strive to feel peace, joy, love and fulfillment.
All of the matrix markers of success I don’t have, and the best part is I DON’T CARE!! 😂
I feel FREE!!
I decided that I get to define what success means to me and I can be proud of myself and the life I’ve built even if most people think I’m a failure, behind in life or unsuccessful.
Success to me is being happy, being surrounded by love, it’s waking up and having freedom to do what I want.
Here are some things that make me feel happy and successful:
Living in Mexico, spending time in the sun and at the beach, I’ve always wanted to live somewhere tropical because it makes my soul happy so I’m proud of myself for taking the leap and moving
Having a few amazing friends for 10+ years in my life and we’ve grown so much together and truly appreciate each other
Making wonderful new friends while I’ve travelled and lived abroad, also knowing my worth and not allowing people into my life who don’t treat me kindly, that’s a huge success for me
Having an amazing, loving relationship with my mom, she supports me and we talk all the time
I am strong and healthy and I actually enjoy going to the gym instead of viewing it as a chore or punishment
Expressing myself creatively through photos, videos, blogging, journalling, dancing etc.
Travelling and seeing places that were on my bucketlist
No longer having anxiety, my mental health is in a great place and I feel balanced, calm, my mindset is resilient and optimistic
Going on dates and having fun, feeling good about myself, being open to new connections and getting to know men, but also being clear about what I desire and not settling for a romantic connection that doesn’t feel aligned
Working with coaching, photography and marketing clients that feel like a full f*ck YES, I get to co-create with them, bring out their authentic self, help them feel more self-love and confidence
Being hired by a company to do work that fulfills me deeply where I get to make a positive difference in people’s lives, and I get to work from home, set my own hours, work with the kindest people I’ve met and for a company whose mission aligns with my values
I feel so grateful for my life, it looks and feels completely different from when I was 19-23, I would not predict it to look this way.
And I don’t have a lot of money or a 401k, I’m not winning awards or published in prestigious magazines, I don’t own a home or a car, I’m not married or have kids, I don’t have tons of followers.
Which is why I think people are surprised when I feel so much joy, gratitude and fulfillment because I don’t have the things that most people equate to success.
But I am living aligned to my values, I have wonderful people in my life, I am healthy, I feel fulfilled by the work I do, I get to be authentically myself. I love my peaceful life I’ve created!
I may not be the typical version of what success looks like, but I feel successful based on how I redefined it for myself.
(Also I think it’s important to note this pattern did not disappear overnight. I had to shed these high expectations and equating my self worth to achievements slowly over time, piece by piece. Healing happens in layers and I know this runs deep within me so I’m sure there is more to let go.)
I hope me sharing my journey redefining success helps you to clarify what it means for you and to boldly take action to make that your reality.