Preparing Your Life for Love & Partnership
If you have been single I know it can get discouraging at times while waiting for the love, romance and relationship you desire to enter your life. Also I’m aware the dating scene looks a little bleak. (I am single so trust me I can relate!)
However this idea that you are waiting and putting your life on hold is not a great approach to prepare yourself for partnership. Instead of passively waiting, which I consider moping around, being depressed, feeling like your life is lonely and empty because you don’t have a partner, choose to actively wait.
Actively waiting means to keep yourself busy creating a life you absolutely adore that you would love to share with a partner someday. Not waiting around for someone else to make you happy.
The mindset of someone who is actively waiting is “I desire a relationship, romance and partnership and until that comes I am going to enjoy my life and live it to the fullest!”
Then when you do meet someone who you are excited about and feel a connection with, you have created a wonderful life and become the most fun, interesting, passionate, fulfilled version of yourself during the waiting (or preparation) period.
Here are some things you can do while actively waiting and preparing for the right partner to enter your life:
(PS. don’t do things on this list thinking “oh if I do this I will be more desirable” instead do it with the feeling of “I am doing these things for my own fulfillment, being a more whole and attractive partner is just a byproduct”)
Work on your healing and emotional well-being
Go to therapy, work with a coach, a somatic healer, breathwork facilitator, do ketamine therapy, anything that calls to you where you focus on your inner world and heal from the things in your past.
I’ve worked with several coaches and they helped me move through certain blocks and limiting beliefs. I’ve also done somatic experiencing and breathwork, both were powerful. I’ve also done soul alchemy healing with a coach and a few different plant medicines. All these different healing modalities helped me remove emotional blockages which left me feeling more light, free and happy and let go of burdens from the past.
Try new hobbies
While you are single this is a great time to explore, try new things, discover what you are passionate about and what brings you joy. Maybe it’s a new sport, a creative hobby, learning to play an instrument or to speak a new language. Trying a new hobby or taking a class is a great way to meet people with similar interests as yourself which could result in a romantic connection or going on a date.
Some hobbies I picked up in the past couple years were beach volleyball, boxing, salsa dancing and yoga. All of these were so fun to participate in! Also I change up my hobbies all the time, I like staying open to trying new things, meeting people is just a natural byproduct.
Take a class or online course
What have you always wanted to learn more about? Now is a great time to dive into what interests you and broaden your education. Maybe it’s a cooking class, or learning to make pottery, studying the stock market and investing. You become more multi-dimensional and have more to talk about when you continue learning about what interests you.
Some courses I have taken are about Joe Dispenza’s formula, money, divine union, manifestation and more. I also got certified as a coach because I was passionate about helping people transform their life and deepen my understanding of NLP, Hypnosis, EFT and Life & Success coaching.
Apply for a new job or promotion
Find something you love to do for work. People spend a lot of time at their job so finding fulfillment in your work is important for overall life satisfaction. While single focus on improving this area of life by possibly aiming for the raise in your current position or apply for a different position completely that you think you would enjoy more.
I completely shifted career paths since being single. I used to work in fashion marketing and now I am a coach and photographer through my own business and I work part time for Mindbloom and guide people with anxiety and depression through ketamine therapy. I find my work now much more fulfilling and I love talking to people about it!
Improve your relationship skills
Think back and ask yourself what didn’t work well in your last relationship or what is something that could be improved in future relationships? Was the polarity completely reversed? Did you argue often and not resolve conflict well? Was your sex life lack lustre? This may surprise you but there are courses, trainings and coaches you can hire for all these areas and more. While you are single and actively waiting for your next relationship why not improve your relationship skills so you become the best partner possible.
Some things I have studied are polarity, masculine and feminine energy, sacred sexuality and tantra mainly because those topics interested me but I also knew everything I learn now will be an asset to a future relationship.
Improve your physical health
When you exercise the benefits are you will feel better, have more strength and endurance, but exercise also makes you happier because of the endorphins, it improves confidence, makes you feel empowered and you will feel more attractive physically. If you don’t like the gym then try a sport or other fun activity to keep active such as boxing, volleyball, or dance classes. Another way to improve your health is to eat nutritious foods and create mindful eating habits. This will improve your quality of life immensely but also these healthy habits are a great asset to bring into a relationship to ensure together you create a long, healthy, thriving life together.
For myself I started lifting weights again about 2 years ago and have been focused on eating in a balanced way, cooking more at home and getting in to the routine of eating fruit or smoothies at breakfast and hearty salads for dinner. These are small habits but I love how I feel when I prioritize my physical health so I am glad I established them while single.
Deepen your relationship with your family and friends
Just because you aren’t in a romantic relationship doesn’t mean there isn’t anyone in your life you can spend quality time with. Love comes in so many forms. Cultivate rich, meaningful relationships with those already in your life and stay open to meeting new people as well. Even when you are in a relationship it is healthy to have friends outside your dynamic and you will want to make plans with other people sometimes.
I have met many wonderful friends over the years and in the different places I’ve travelled. I’ve also become closer with my mom and still stay in touch with a couple close friends from high school and University. I am so grateful for the love currently in my life and even when a relationship does come I know my friends and family will still be important relationships to nourish.
Move to a new place
When you are single this is an ideal time to relocate to a new place that you’ve always wanted to live. You don’t have to check with anyone else and it’s a whole new pool of people to choose from for dating. This season of life allows you to make a change more easily so if you’ve been thinking about it, take the leap!
I moved a few times from to Toronto, then back to my hometown London, then to Mexico. I absolutely love my life now in Mexico! It is what I’ve always dreamed of and I know my past partners would not have been down to make this leap so I’m glad I did it while single. Also I am open to meeting other people here who are from all over the world and just as adventurous as myself.
Adopt a pet
A furry companion adds so much love and joy to life! It’s great to have the company while single but when you enter a relationship having a pet will just add to the love. Also if it’s a dog then a great excuse to get more exercise!
I adopted a cat a few years ago and most recently adopted a puppy. They are a handful and have quite funny personalities. I adore them both and am so glad I adopted them!
Focus on self-love
Raise the bar for the type of connections you allow into your life by pouring all the love and attention you would give a partner back into yourself. Developing deeper self-love feels like seeing yourself more clearly, valuing yourself more and treating yourself like a best friend. You can start your own self-love journey by giving yourself the 5 love languages which are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and gifts. Make a list of your amazing qualities and what you would bring to a partnership. Become really grounded in who you are and what your unique essence offers.
I craft various self-love rituals for myself and clients, I set aside time to do something at least once per day but truly I infuse self-love into most of my routines and actions.
Travel
I know people don’t like to travel alone and dream of creating memories with a partner, but it can be such a great opportunity to learn about yourself. You can easily meet like minded people who are also travelling solo, explore new places, learn about other cultures and do some self discovery. Travel while you are single because you will rarely have this opportunity again once you are in a relationship and have kids.
I have travelled a decent amount the past few years, some solo and some trips with friends. I’ve been to Costa Rica, Mexico, Hawaii, LA, New York City, Bali and many places Europe. Each trip has impacted me so deeply, I cherish all those experiences and they really shaped who I am.
Date for fun & get clear what you desire in a partner
You can still go on dates while single and are actively waiting for a partner, it helps to stay in the flirtatious energy and keep your communication skills in great shape. Going on dates also helps to clarify what you are looking for in a partner as you get to discover what qualities are important to you and how you want a future relationship to be. The best way to learn this about yourself is to meet a variety of people.
I’ve been on a lot of dates over the years, some seasons of life I am more social and going out often and others I am more inward or focused on other things. But going on dates has brought me so much clarity and I am grateful for that!
Now imagine if your future partner was also pouring back into their self-love and creating a fulfilling life before meeting YOU?
Then when you come together you have so much richness to share with each other, new hobbies to do together, epic travel stories to share, pets to cuddle while having a movie night in, healthy routines established, a fulfilling job that you get to tell each other about, interesting knowledge from courses and workshops you’ve done.
You will have built a strong foundation for your own life, you will know who you are and what you value most, that clarity will help you attract a partner who matches well with you.
And in the meantime, you aren’t just sitting on your couch letting life pass you by. This life is sacred and there is so much to experience!
Don’t view this list as an endless pursuit of self-improvement but rather the continuous choice to create and live a fulfilling life.
Because if you went on a date with someone and found out their life was very empty, no hobbies, passions, friendships, adventures, personal growth or things to talk about, and their energy was hopeless and searching for someone to love to fill the huge void within themselves- would that be attractive to you?
Most likely not.
When someone is happy, feels gratitude for life, is positive, fulfilled, passionate and accepts themselves THAT is an attractive energy to be around. Do things to cultivate that energy in your life, for yourself and to also magnetize your future partner.
So instead of passively waiting to meet my person and putting life on hold, I am turning all that energy inward and pouring back into myself, filling up my own cup, deepening my own self love, continuing to create a life I love that I would be thrilled to share with a partner. ❤️
I don’t coach people on relationships however I am a Self-Love & Lifestyle Coach and I guide my clients to create a wildly fulfilling life, enchant through their authenticity and radiate with self-love.
I coach clients that struggle feeling dissatisfied, burnt out and low self worth to experience more self-love, joy, pleasure, creative self expression and to design a life aligned to their core values.
Read more about my 1:1 mentorship package, Artist of Life, or book a discovery call below.