How to Feel More Confident in Your Body
Ever since I could remember I was insecure about my body. When I was a kid I compared myself to animated Disney princesses, other girls at school, celebrities in movies, Barbie’s, models on magazines, musicians I listened to, etc. I picked up negative beliefs from the women in my family who either criticized and put down their own body or restricted carbs or snacks in our home.
I heard female family and relatives say things like “I gained so much weight when I was pregnant and it ruined my body.” “I hate my legs they are so fat.” “I could never wear that it wouldn’t look good on me.”
I remember my grandma telling me I should “try to maintain my girlish figure” when I was just 5 or 6 years old. And not just once, but every time I would go to visit her. I was constantly bombarded with the messaging that I was chubby and I would be happier and prettier if I lost weight.
So I’m very aware now of toxic diet culture, constantly telling women to take up less space, be slimmer, and their value is in their beauty.
I’ve also learned how as children between the ages of 0-7 our brains are sponges soaking up everything around us which forms our beliefs later in life.
So between the comments I received, the movies and TV shows I watched, and the things people around me were saying, I had A LOT of reprogramming to do around body image when I started learning about the subconscious mind as a young adult.
I have a lot of compassion for women who also struggle with loving and accepting their body because this is one of the areas I’ve had to do a lot of inner work around, and even now I still notice disempowering thoughts come up sometimes.
There was a time when I hated how I looked in all photos and avoided having my photo taken. I never wanted to wear a bikini, and I didn’t think guys would be attracted to me.
So I’ve come a long way and learned to cultivate a kind, loving mindset towards myself and my body. Here are some tips that really helped me feel more confident and accepting of my body.
Book a brand photo shoot - If you’ve never seen photos of yourself you actually like having a professional photoshoot will be refreshing! Working with a professional who will give you direction, know what angles look good and lighting that is flattering is going to have the photos turn out way better than some blurry, poorly lit iPhone photo. Plus a photoshoot is a fun, playful thing to do that allows you to be self expressive and creative. I didn’t love every single photo when I saw the photos from my first photoshoot back in 2017, but there were some I really liked! I looked happy and that’s what mattered most. It helped changed my self perception to be a bit more gentle and accepting.
Exercise to feel stronger, not be smaller - I started lifting weights again about a year ago and I have felt so much more empowered! Feeling strong physically also helps me feel strong mentally. Both of those feelings increase my overall self esteem. Also realizing “wow look at what my body can do!” Is a more positive mindset that fixating on how it looks. Exercising because you love your body and want to take care of it so you can live a long, healthy life helps me feel way more confident than running on a treadmill for hours hoping I burned enough calories so I can squeeze into a dress.
Wear clothes you love & feel comfortable in - Finally coming to the realization that no one knows or cares what size of clothing I wear, so I may as well just buy what fits me best. Like who really cares if you buy a large instead of a medium? Or a size 10 instead of a size 8? What is going to look the best is me feeling comfortable, and wearing something too small, tight or ill-fitting will not be comfortable. I’m going to be tugging and adjusting it all the time. Also wear the pieces that make you feel AMAZING! Clothing can influence how you feel when you go about your day. If a floral maxi dress makes you feel confident, wear it! If yoga pants, a hoodie and sneakers is what you feel best wearing, then choose that.
Dance - Start by dancing alone so you aren’t worried about people watching you and judging how you look. Just focus on how good it feels to move your body. Tap into your sensual or sexual energy, be playful, silly, channel your inner wild woman. Dance has helped me feel more joy for life, but also love my curves more. I love having hips, thighs and a booty when I dance, it feels so freeing and satisfying. The best way to explain the feeling is I feel like a yummy, juicy piece of fruit when I dance lol. It’s hard to explain, you will just have to try it and see what I mean!
Breathwork - I’ve done breathwork many times in my life, and during a couple powerful sessions I released so much body shame and pain I was carrying. I released so much stored energy that when I came out of it I didn’t know who I was without that pain. Sounds kinda crazy, but my mind felt blank. I didn’t know who I was without feeling self conscious and hyper aware of my body. The days following that breathwork session I felt so free, happy, more bold, playful and expressive. I let go of so much shame that my vibration rose super fast once I integrated the experience. It was a breath of fresh air! One of the best things I’ve ever done and now I’m a huge fan of breathwork. I love it so much I brought in a guest instructor to lead a class inside my online course Embodiment so others could experience this medicine themselves.
Relatable Expanders - I use the word “expander” to define a person that has or embodies what you desire for yourself. They are role models, expanding your mind to believe more is possible. Our subconscious minds need to see examples of what we want to start believing it’s possible for ourselves. That’s why working with coaches/mentors is powerful if you want to transform an area of your life. But the reason I added relatable is because when it comes to body/health/fitness, I found it very discouraging if I compared myself to women that did not have my body type. It made me feel worse about myself. However when I followed women who had a similar body to mine but were maybe stronger and more in shape than myself, it inspired me! It didn’t negatively affect my self esteem, it motivated me and my mind was on board believing that was possible for me too. Personally, since I’m shorter (5’3”) and curvier, I followed influencers or fitness instructors that were similar height and shape to me. Now I see curves and muscles as so sexy and attractive! For the first time in my life I actually don’t want to be skinny, I love my shape and am motivated to be the strongest, healthiest version of myself!
EFT + Positive affirmations - EFT is short for Emotional Freedom Technique or it is also referred to as tapping. You tap on the energy meridian points on the body while reciting different phrases and this helps unblock energy/emotions that were stuck from a past negative experience. It can relieve emotional distress and physical pain. I LOVE doing EFT while reciting positive body affirmations because it really elevates my emotional state and it combines energy psychology and repetition which are two of the three ways to reprogram your subconscious beliefs. It works by forming new neural pathways with the new empowering thoughts and beliefs and letting the old neural pathways with the negative or limiting beliefs that formed when I was a child become weaker and dissolve the less I engage them.
Which tip helped you the most that you plan to start incorporating into your own life?
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