Creating a Life I Loved: Dating Lessons Part 1
I love teaching about creating your dream life, aligning it to your core values and being the artist that brings your vision to life because there’s been a lot of things I have prayed for that manifested in my own life that made it feel like I was living in my own fairytale.
Such as the spiritual community I was part of in Costa Rica, dancing around fires in the jungle, celebrating life, having big community dinners, healing together in ceremony, and how everyone felt like family by the end of my stay.
Staying in a home in Costa Rica with a few friends that felt like walking into my vision board. Huge garden with a bougainvillea tree (my favourite flower), big comfy couches, an outdoor kitchen, big table for dinners together, a view of the ocean in the distance. We’d dance on beautiful beaches at sunset and explore waterfalls in our free time.
Moving to Mexico and dancing wild and free at ecstatic dance, doing ice baths on the beach at sunrise, going to sound healings on rooftops in the evening, reading and journaling on the beach, taking salsa dance classes and going to big events where I met new people.
Moving into a gorgeous apartment in Tulum that felt like a tropical oasis.
Meeting so many people all over the world, new friends, adventures, deep life chats, lots of laughter, dance classes, BBQ’s, potlucks, beach days, day trips, cenotes and more!
And for career I was working with the host of my favourite podcast who was so wonderful (pinch me such a dream!!) I was photographing the kindest women and many of them became friends. I was creating in person and online workshops and courses on topics I loved. I was coaching clients and supporting them with their spiritual awakenings, healing and business evolution. Then I landed my dream position at Mindbloom and have coached hundreds of clients and have felt like I am truly living my purpose.
Life has felt liked I walked right into my vision board and was a fairytale unfolding.😍
However there has been an area of my life that has not felt like a fairytale and that has been dating.
In all honesty most of the men I met while living abroad were flaky, words and actions would be hot and cold, some were rude and pushy, their energy felt very extractive (wanting one thing), lacked depth and just wanted to party and drink alcohol all the time.
I know I am not the only woman who has experienced this, but I was disappointed with how men would act and eventually lost interest to go on dates.
Looking back I don’t regret this phase because it was a carefree, playful time in my life. I met a lot of interesting people, but no one that stuck out to me that I felt ease, peace and harmony with. Dating however did mirror to me all my limiting beliefs I had about men. It provided a lot of contrast and showed me exactly what I did not want.
Around the time I turned 30 I felt the intuitive pull to focus more on myself so I went more inward and became less social.
In 2023 I spent that whole year focused on raising a new puppy I adopted, my work which was going really well, the Sacred Sexuality year long program I was in, going to the gym, going on a few trips to Bacalar, Oaxaca and Italy, taking salsa and bachata dance classes, deepening my connection with God and I moved to Tulum part way through the year.
The year prior I probably went on like 24 dates (around 2 per month) and then the year later I went on maybe 4 total. It was the BEST decision. 🙌
I was pouring all my energy into myself and my life. I was having past wounds come up so I could focus on processing those and cultivating deeper love, self worth and empowerment within.
I felt proud for creating this amazing dream life for myself and I was feeling more confident with who I was each day.
And those few dates I did go on, I was quickly able to discern they were not for me. Some took 1 date, others took a couple weeks. But each time I walked away confidently from those connections. I wasn’t going to waste time with misaligned connections or with men who did not treat me well and instead kept pouring my energy back into myself and other areas of my life.
Some may view this as being too picky, but it felt like an act of self respect and knowing my worth. I wasn't going to settle for a mediocre relationship while the rest of my life was beautiful and fulfilling.
There were times I felt my hope diminish. I didn’t know what an aligned and compatible relationship would look like for myself. Most couples did not model the type of relationship I dreamed of for myself either. I felt what I was looking for was soooo specific I would never find it.
However something in me believed there was an incredible man out there for me, and deep down my soul believed that fairytale love stories could be real (plus every other area of my life felt that way, and I did not want to settle for less in a relationship).
After a year of focusing on myself, feeling deep peace, gratitude and contentment in my life, and feeling cherished by God… life had an unexpected surprise for me…
(continued in part 2)