Compatibility & Alignment: Dating Lessons Part 2

I received a message on Instagram from a guy I didn’t know who said he saw my dating profile on Hinge. I wasn’t going on dating apps at the time and since I didn’t respond, he did a bit of searching online to contact me. What stood out to him was we had a lot of similar interests and I thought why not get to know him it seems like we have quite a bit in common.

He made plans to call me the next night and I thought “okay we will have small talk for 10 minutes or so” but to my surprise we very naturally chatted for over an hour, then spoke every night the rest of week.

During our second phone call the topic of forgiveness came up and I shared it was hard for me to forgive some of the men I dated in the past who hurt me. He was sharing his thoughts on forgiveness and through his words I could feel the hurt, resentment and anger melt away that I was carrying and I could finally forgive these men.

I remember thinking, “ok wow there is something special about this man, how did he just shift my state so quickly through his perspective??”

He lived in New Jersey and I lived in Tulum and by the end of the first week he asked “Is it too early for me to say I want to fly and come meet you in person?” I said it would be great to meet him as long as he booked his own place.

The next day he swiftly booked his flight and sent me a screenshot of the confirmation. He asked my opinion on which Airbnb’s I liked, he wanted to make sure I thought it was nice and in a good area.

The weeks following we quickly got to know each other on a deeper level and it blew my mind how similar we were.

We both prayed to God and allowed Him to lead us in life.

Both viewed sex as special and sacred and waiting for a long term committed partner.

We both lived a slow, peaceful, conscious lifestyle. I was living somewhere tropical and that was his dream for the future.

We both loved going to the gym, the beach, being in nature, ice baths, meditation, prayer, personal growth. He never drank alcohol or partied and I rarely did.

We both wanted a beautiful marriage and children in our future. We both viewed that a wedding was just one day and the real focus should be on cultivating a long lasting, healthy relationship.

He was naturally protective, caring, a provider, a leader, his words and actions aligned, he was consistent, which made me safe and secure with him. He complimented me all the time, lifted me up, and supported my career and fitness goals.

I was amazed at the healthy masculine energy he embodied. He was nothing like any of the past guys I met or went on dates with. He blew everyone out of the water! 🤯

Very early on he saw me for who I was - gentle, compassionate, tender, loving, sweet, romantic and because of this he called me his “handle with care package.”

Hearing this allowed me to soften because I felt he saw the real me and liked my authentic self. At the same time he encouraged me to share sides of myself that I usually suppressed or hid (like my sassy, sarcastic side) and he loved it. I felt my full multi-faceted personality was welcomed and appreciated!

Even though we didn’t live in the same country I appreciated how he took the time to really get to know me and invest his time into our connection. Every day he would text me good morning and messaged flirtatious banter back and forth. We had deeper conversations on the phone several times during the week and would fall asleep on the phone together after talking for hours. 

His actions showed how much he cared about my wellbeing. He would ask if I ate dinner, reminded me to drink water, told me to move from the couch to my bed because it was late when we would be talking on the phone (he knew I would fall asleep on the couch otherwise), and asked me to text him when I got home safely. He had this protective yet caring energy, not controlling but looking out for me. Which made me feel even more safe with him.

He told me he didn’t want to play games or date anyone else, he wanted to be with me. I let his words sit with me for a few days and decided I wanted to date him as well and no one else. The decision to be monogamous came effortlessly because for me I knew I had never met anyone like him. I would rather be with him and continue building our connection even though he was in another country than someone who is 1/10th as good that lived in my city.

Previous men I have dated would not text back, let alone call me every night for 4 hours. Some men acted like organizing a coffee date was too much work and here this man was booking a 2 week trip to come see me and not for sex, but because he wanted quality time together.

This whole time I was looking for cues that showed me if he was a walking red flag or had a pure soul and genuine heart. Every single thing he did and said pointed to the latter.

We told each other things we felt nervous to share. I shared events from my past I don’t disclose with everyone, and he shared his hardships and insecurities with me. We met each other with acceptance and non-judgement.

We had talks about not expecting perfection from each other, giving each other grace, not yelling or fighting but instead having calm conversations expressing what we felt.

He said he admired how good of a listener I was and my calm communication style. Two traits very few people noticed or appreciated about me in the past.

On top of the mature connection we had, this man made me feel so good about my body and beauty. He frequently told me how much he liked my hair, eyes, smile, lips, skin, curves, legs, breasts, butt etc. He often said how sexy, cute, and beautiful I looked. He loved I didn’t wear makeup, adored all my flowy dresses and made me feel confident about my curves when in the past that was an insecurity of mine.

He was attracted to my feminine essence and said how magnetic my energy felt to him. And I was deeply attracted to his masculine energy. It was this ideal balance. It felt easy, joyful, safe and harmonious, but we also had spicy polarity between us.

I was in awe, my heart felt so full! Every day my feelings were growing and my friends commented how smitten I was. 🥰

After all those years of bad dates and not so stellar experiences with men, I could see why none of them worked out.

I understood why I felt pulled to connect deeper with God the year leading up to this. It felt like God was preparing my heart, showing me what it felt like to be loved by Him so I would meet a man that also embodied wholesome values, inner strength, kindness and tenderness.

This blossoming relationship was so worth the wait! And even more than I knew to ask for. I was experiencing what it felt like to meet someone who I was extremely compatible with and shared the same values.

My life felt like a romance novel unfolding… each day I felt more bliss and excitement as his trip to Tulum was approaching!

Until I received an unexpected phone call…

(continued in part 3)